Sometimes you just got to have faith and go do your thing.
I haven’t slept well the past few nights. I am the anxious, wound too tight, never stop thinking type. Yes it is pretty much all my own fault. It really is. I worry, I stress, it does nothing to elevate the issue or do anything to fix the problem, yet sometimes my brain just gets the best of me. I get a little edgy, my temper gets short and I don’t sleep very well.
On top of that I worked all weekend.18 plus hours in the kitchen. Normally after two days in a row running in circles prepping, baking, cooking, slinging food this way and that, I am pretty whupped, tired, semi useless. Often I get home after the second shift, and fall asleep. Sometimes I make it into bed, sometimes right on the floor still petting one of the dogs.
Well now I got a coach. I got a training schedule. Sure he doesn’t live with me and can’t tell if I am dutifully performing my workouts, or catching zzz’s. But I know, ohh I know. Today after work I would have easily crashed out, woke up at sunset, ate and gone back to sleep. Instead I knew I had to get out there, do what I am supposed to do. Not for him, but for me.
I walk the dogs, prep the bike, stifling yawns I get on the well thought out layers needed to stay warm biking in the cold. Drive out to my spot and start my ride. It is already almost 4:PM, the sun is casting long deep cold shadows across the snow covered sage when I get moving, determined to crank out my 5 hours of riding.
There is no denying that I am tired. Yet the air is still, the miles roll by smooth and easy. Not a sound seems to emanate from the surrounding hills, no cars, no trucks, no barking dogs, no people. Only the bounce of deer and bunnies out of the dark patches of willows. A bit of new soft snow covers over the truck and dog sled tracks that I am following, making my passage almost silent. I ride for miles and miles, thoughts roll through my head as the tires roll along the whited out dirt roads. I think about racing, past and future. I think of the people I love and cherish. I think about life, purpose, determination and its limits.
Mostly I just ride, breath in, breath out……. and pedal, pedal, pedal
.So glad I didn’t just take a nap…..