I woke up early this morning, and for the first time in months I didn’t feel the vacuum of exhaustion open its jaws to swallow up my tired being. I felt like I might have the energy to get up before it was necessary to, like I could maybe get up and do something! It has been a long journey to get where I am now, so much has happened, so much time since this space got any fresh updates so here we go.

I think about how I used to have so much time. So much that I would spend hours doing not much of anything, drinking coffee, smoking cigarettes, doodling, hanging out, but I also read many books and wrote a little. This was a long time ago, back when I wasn’t all that inspired to do much with myself, still looking for what it was I wanted pursue.

Once the whole endurance thing came into my life I was not so chill, I was either working, sleeping, or out doing something with my body. I was now consuming my time and often burning the candle at both ends trying to do it all. I worked two jobs, slept little, ate tremendous amounts of food, drank a ton of coffee, and was always trying to be moving. It was a exhaustively active time of my life, I would often work right up to events, race without sleep, and get right back to work. There were times it was really taking a lot out of me, but it also felt amazing to be so dedicated to my passion.

Ten years ago life really started to change again. About a month after my 2014 Tour Divide run, while I was still sore, tired and burnt out, Rachel randomly popped up in Gunny on a road trip. Well things clicked and next thing ya know we moved in together! We lived a semi-dirt bag lifestyle for a few years, riding bikes, working, camping, playing with dogs, and then we made a Lillian! Time really accelerated over the next 8 months as we got our shit together and scraped, begged, and borrowed enough to buy a house all while Rachel was pregnant and I was working all the time. We started moving in and Lillian was born three days later. It was such a blur.

I feel like I have been trying to catch up since. I have learned that taking care of a 140 year old house and a family is enough to keep me busy, but I keep trying to squeeze a bit more. I managed to do a few races from 2019 on, but it is a lot harder to be prepared with how much energy I have left at the end of most days. After the 2022 Arizona Trail Race kicked my butt, I realized I still have the skills, and I can still dig deep, but without adequate time on the bike, it is so much harder. This has been a very hard thing for me, I miss riding my bike, I miss feeling like an athlete.

In September the Firebrand announced they were going to close their doors for good, this was a surprise to all. After 28 years it was time. Rachel immediately started asking me if we should take over their lease. I immediately started saying no way! My wife is quite persuasive and somehow I started saying yes. We took the keys to the place January 1st and have been working on it since. Demos, floors, a lunch counter, baseboards, lots of paint, a new stove and grill, so much cleaning and organizing. The menu, recipes, cooking, systems, ordering, storing. We have even hired and trained people!

After so many, many long days of work, we opened the Dilly Deli 3/14/24. That first day we got worked, but we learned a lot, we continue to learn and implement. It is going quite well really, we have only 7 days of operation under us, but have the making of the food more or less figured out. It is a matter of getting better at training and scheduling employees so we don’t have to be there all day.

Today is my fourth day off since mid January, I spent all of yesterday sleeping or helping with Lillian’s 5th birthday party! It was fun, but I am so tired from the work week that I need extra rest. That funny time again, where is it? I am hoping to find some in the near future to return to feeling like a human again, I am much happier and healthier when I am.