What For?

I think about a lot of things. All the damn time my mind is bouncing about, sometimes pounding the same thought over and over like hammer clanking down on a chunk of steel. It seems pointless at times, the tiny increments of change, with so much hard effort.  Yet that is my brain, and I try my best to deal.

One thing that I think about, over and over again, is; What For? Like What the F#$k For? I mean, I like being alive, but why? I try and give to the world and do positive things, add good energy, but is that enough?

Then someone out doing something super freaking cool, so cool I wish I was out there suffering hard in the same conditions, so cool I get to see their name on website as they ride across the country under their own power. So Freaking Cool this thing they are taking on. Beyond what so many folks think is possible. Then that person gets hit by a car, truck, or bus and they die.

Keep in mind I do not know this person, never have met to my knowledge. But they were living a dream, a dream that I share and can feel inside my skull, my heart, my soul. It hurts to feel that absence. It hurts to admit that love carries danger, that following our dreams can be dangerous, that we can die while being on cloud nine.

So I try to think, maybe he died doing what he loved, or what he dreamed of doing, but is that enough? Does the family feel good knowing that he was following a dream? Or is it just a sad day with no explanations, nothing to make the pain feel ok. Do we all stay home and never take on these challenges because there are risks, serious risks, the most drastic risk of all, our own demise. It boggles my mind to take this on, to admit that we don’t know why, or why not or why the fuck some folks have to die.

The most basic idea is we can’t all live forever, there would be too many damn many of us! So then, the What For!? There are limitless answers, we all find a little different scope of what is the best way to live. But we can share our feelings, our fears, our loves, our ideas and dreams. Maybe, that is it, we are building up more and more information, more and more ideas, dreams, solutions. What if we are just the inspiration we leave behind? Maybe, just maybe that is all there is to it.


Get out and live, only by living can we inspire.

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