Funny how often my life seems to be a mess. So many undone chores, unfinished projects, looming deadlines for work I am not excited to do. Too many things needing my attention and so little precious time to dedicate to any of it. Thing is I worry more than I just get it done, sometimes…kind of like laying in bed wanting only more sleep when you are awake and thinking. not sleeping. Might as well get up and get er done!
Plus this past week I have been trying to get over my own disappointment from the last race, the 12 Hours Of Mesa Verde. It still burns me that I didn’t do better, go faster, hurt less. Whatever, get over it, get out there and once again,get er done! Yeah!
Not so easy to pull off, I know, I really do. Last night I went out after work and dogs and all that, for an easy ride. I didn’t want to go. I was tired, depressed, kinda grumpy…but I went. It was to be a full moon, the evening was calm and sweet, the sky blue. Only the temperature dropped with the setting sun and my fingers and toes were frozen stiff once I got home. Now I am thinking “am I just a wuss, am I ever gonna HTFU?” Damn it why do I always turn it in towards me?
So tonight is my Friday. I have the next three days off. That thought alone makes me feel relaxed. Some time to get things done, rest, evaluate where I am at on my Tour Divide vacation plan.
My weekend started out just right, with a serene little ride. A smooth easy pedal through green grass pastures, the calm sky, gorgeous, the air quiet and sweet. A wonderful contrast to my noisy overcrowded brain. Oh yes, what a bike ride can do! Note to self, Stop thinking too much and start doing what makes you happy…..