Working towards goals

Life has been crazy for a while. It is really hard to describe how much everything changes when you make a tiny human and they send it home with you. It is freaking intense, for one you don’t sleep and I mean it is true, it has been over 2.5 years since I got regular sleep. That alone tweaks your life and leaves you drained and unprepared for everything else. You also, all of a sudden, have a shit ton more responsibility. Long gone are those days of feeding myself and a dog or two, squeezing by with everything else. Combined with marriage and owning a house it is a lot to take care of and I am that guy that puts most of this before myself. I worked hard for the first 2 years while doing so much else, like parenting, chores, house improvements, and trying to stay on the bike as much as I could. It was exhausting to say the least.

This summer I took on the role of primary care giver for our child, only working part time and spending most days learning and exploring with my little girl. While sometimes hard, it was mostly awesome. She is a very special human and getting to be with her and see her grow and expand is simply the best. Some of the best time spent, but I wasn’t doing much else besides parenting, working a few days a week, and doing chores. I wasn’t working towards any personal goals, I wasn’t evolving as a person.

I did manage to get out on a few big bike adventures this season, an ITT of the AZT300, the CTR, and impromptu ITT of the Gunny Loopy Loop Shortie, well to be honest they were all more or less, off the couch. These were amazing experiences for me, it is very powerful to be on the bike for any period of time. The longer the ride, the deeper my brain goes, the more I explore myself. I came out of these with lots of ideas and energy to do more on and off the bike. Sometimes coming home to my crazy busy, sleep deprived life, much of that energy and ideas would get lost and left un-nurtured. I also went into these events without much prep. I headed to AZ for my 300 ride after only hatching the idea 2 weeks prior. The CTR and the Loopy I did 100% off experience, I didn’t train, I had hardly enough time to get my gear together.

I still have some big ideas and goals. I want to race the ITI is Alaska pretty bad, been in my head for almost 20 years. It also terrifies me and that is something I like most about it, learning to be prepared for something a bit scary and new makes me excited. Part of my journey to ITI is more winter riding and racing and I amazing to be ready for JP’s Fat Pursuit in January. After some good long talks I can feel my family behind me on this and that feels good. It sounds so small and funny, but making that mind switch to making this goal a reality and not just on the back burner, is immensely gratifying and empowering. On a quick ride yesterday I felt the trail extending outward and onward, a step along the path towards my dreams. Tinkering in the garage getting my Big Iron dialed in for riding on snow, (Hopefully some snow, still dry as a hell here), felt purposeful and rewarding. I am excited, I am very much looking forward to this journey and what comes of all that mind space that comes with these amazing experiences.

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