Life is hard, its a lesson that I’ve been forced to learn over and over again. I can remember as a kid, hoping that I had done the work and now it was time to coast, and enjoy the benefits. Only to get kicked to the floor and have to start working at it again. Feel like that series of thoughts and feelings has repeated itself countless times in my life.
Lately I’ve been thinking and feeling a lot about the difficulty that everyday of life can be. This morning our daughter just turned 6 weeks and my perspective on life has been thrown all around the room. It has been a constant roller coaster of sky high joy, to complete what the fuck have I done to my life, and back to joy. Its a lot like the rest of life, but taken to a whole other level of peak and trough. It makes me realize how simple and selfish my life was before, and how I worked hard, but mostly to benefit myself and my own pursuits.
Now at 2:AM when my gorgeous little girl is screaming in my arms and nothing I can do will sooth her, I have learned so much more about tolerance, patience and the depths that one can go through for love. It has been a rough learning process to say the least, at times I really do wonder why the hell anyone would choose this life? Yet on one morning not long ago I was up pacing the house, Lillian screaming her tiny lungs out in my arms, the clock was ticking closer and closer to alarm/wake up/go to work time, and I found myself at peace. Amongst all the unconsolable cries, I found myself not wanting to be anywhere else, I found joy in this ass kicking!
It is truly amazing what we humans can accomplish, but nothing we look upon with respect came easy to those who built it, dreamed it, grew it or raised it. That was nothing short of hard work and we admire that yet everyday I see us humans taking the easy road, avoiding the pain of hard work and change. I know, I get it, we all want good without the toil, but more and more I feel like there is no other path to whatever it is we crave, the route to get there is work, perseverance, and patience.
Its also beyond frustrating to see technology gaining so much ground and yet we use that, not to make the world better for everyone, but to make our own lives easier. Humans are losing so many hard won skills and abilities to machines and automation, because we are lazy and something can do that for us. Makes me wonder, what will we be willing to give up next, our very souls? Work is a four letter word, or it can be and working for “the man” can be awful. I also love free time and recreating. I am not advocating for a life of nothing but work, but to avoid things that are difficult and a lot of work, decimate our individual potential and the combined possibilities as a species. It really is time to stop thinking of everything through our own eyes, but to see our choices with the lense of what is does for the whole planet and each and every soul upon it. Everytime I look at my tiny daughter I am reminded of how important it is that we make this world we live on a priority over our own personal convenience.