Conflicted

Sometimes I get a perspective shift that lines things up in a new light. That light shows how lucky I am. I have an awesome girlfriend, a great job, fantastic bikes to ride and miles and miles of trails, dirt roads and pavement extending right from my door. I’m also healthy, motivated and full of energy.

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Yet I am also the type that does not sit idle and content for long. I get wild ideas about sewing projects and even wilder ideas about bike rides and races. There is something that needs to be tested, pushed and exhausted in me that does not seem to be satisfied, not even close.

Over and over I find myself at a crossroads of sorts. Follow one fork and stay safe, get stuff done, pay some bills,  and maybe be something of an adult. I tell myself all the time that I really am going to take this safe and sound route, after one more race, one more Divide, one more, always one more something. Then there is the dark, mysterious and strange fork in the road, where adventure waits. It is cold and lonelier, full of unknowns and pitfalls, but it pulls me with a power I find so very hard to resist.

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So here I am conflicted. I see the need to be smart and not go broke in order to race my bike, again! Yet the idea of staying home while a grand and brand new adventure unfolds, is hard to swallow. Great problems to have, I concur, but that makes my quandary no easier.

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don’t worry…just gO Ride…..

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