I’ve done a few pretty big races. From my experience the bigger the race the longer I feel weird, sad and empty afterwards. During these monster death marches one is out there for days on end, battling heat, cold, thunder, rain, lightening, lots of dicey situations where a mistake could put you in a world of hurt, maybe get ya killed. It gets the blood pumping, the adrenaline soaring, the whole fight or flight reaction keyed up to a razor’s edge.
Then it is over. You party, celebrate a bit and then that is over and all becomes terribly quiet, serene. I tend to eat too much, drink too much, once upon a time smoke too much…anything to fill the void that is left wide open after being down right over-filled. Back to reality, work, paying bills, talking to people, peeing in a toilet, watching your language. Ah the real world! I am usually a bit too tired to go out and exercise, to fill that void again. Stuck feeling drained, tired and not sure what to do next. Wondering if this life of adventure is worth it, why every choice is made around it, why are these events so important?
Staying positive and focused at this time is so hard, yet I know it will pay off. Or so I tell myself. Or perhaps it is time for a lifestyle change, time for the next dream vacation to be margaritas on the beach somewhere warm, sunny and half naked. Sounds good when suffering, but now it only paints the picture of someone else. Fact is time flows on, as it always does and the emptiness gets filled with more exercise, adventures, training, being with friends, planning the next event. The obsession and dedication to seeking perfection will return. For now it is a bit too much wandering around like a zombie not sure what to do with myself except have a few beers with dinner and lots of sleeping.
Jefe, I’ve never done anything on even close to the scale of the CTR, but I’ve gotten those post milestone blues before. Hang in there, be with your many friends, and let it pass. Your legs and back will recover, which will allow you to get out there and find peace on the bike again. And there will be new things coming along to get excited about. Thinking about you man, and way impressed by your latest accomplishment. -Tom P.
Thanks Tom, I know what to expect by now, it is just another thing to suck up with the whole experience…there really is little or no glory in winning the CTR…just the experience itself and dreaming of doing it again, being tired and wiped out for days….thanks for reading, hope to see ya out there!!!