Have to admit it is a bit weird to come back down to regular life. The sugar infused ice cream binge is over, the hazy after glow of the accomplishment has faded and it is back to work, walking the dogs, paying bills and trying to sneak out and ride bikes. A strange transition indeed, from the concentrated world of eating, sleeping and riding as many miles a day as I could. To sitting around all day tired, sore, barely able to walk, not working, not riding, basically elevating my feet and trying to write it all down before the freshness of the experience escaped. And now back to the real world of making a living, keeping the fridge stocked, running the dogs till they are somewhat sane and wondering were all the time goes…..
It is hard to keep perspective. There were some powerful realizations out there during my ride. I try and remind myself of them, to keep them in my head, in my heart. Still it seems blurry, distant and idealistic now. Instead the daily set of mundane tasks has taken over my life and I fear that those cathartic moments may become lost and forgotten. Funny how simple things can seem from the other side of the fence. Out there in the wilds, with too much time to think the thought of coming back and rearranging my life was such an easy task. Now not so much.
Still it is so fantastic to be home in this wonderful and supportive community. It feels so great to have my legs get better everyday, I Can go to work, I am getting some good sleep here and there. I have some energy returning, no longer do I feel or look like a zombie! I have been doing some easy recovery rides on my Tranny, I signed up for another bike race. There are even some thoughts as to what race will be after that, what will next season look like, what will be my focus?
Funny how often it all comes back to finding balance. I am so apt to become obsessed with things leaving too much else abandoned along the way, this is really what most of my revelations out there on the trail spoke to me. Balance, Jefe, Balance.
Loving your blog, fascinating, and makes me think. Have you tried meditation I wonder? It takes some effort and time / sticking with it to make it work, but is great when achieved. This could provide the same clarity in day to day decisions during normal life? Perhaps in some ways it is easy to get that clarity while out in the wilds. Having got a taste for that clarity, would it not be good to bring it into everyday life? Where we feel rushed all the time and things lack the simplicity that you had where you just biked, ate, and slept. Just some thoughts.
Ahh meditation….I ponder it often, think I get close while out riding, hiking and skiing….I don’t do well sitting still. Someday it just might happen that I find the ability to calm myself down and find nothingness…..till then I will just keep pushing myself and seeing what happens…
Thanks for the thoughts, very much appreciated and not taken lightly
I have appreciated reading your post ride thoughts. We often speculated about the weather, time, and your emotions and adventures based on your tracks which led us on down the road. We share some of the same tussles between pausing for beauty and moving moving moving. What a journey. Congrats on the inward journey, as well as the nearly sub 16 day effort.
sam+katie (the tandem)
Sam & Katie, OMG you two are freaking amazing!!! One heck of a ride you threw down, seriously just awesome! Hope my tracks lead you in the right direction! So wish there was an after party for this damn race, want so much to meet everyone now that is is done. Congrats on the team work! Hope you are both well, take care
Wow! I never realized how much of a toll this race takes on the riders. I guess I never really thought about it. I hope you find the balance you’re looking for. From my life’s experience, I find balance to be a delicate thing, and it doesn’t take much to upset it. Life also has a way of completely changing the things you’re trying to balance as well.
I find inspiration in the strangest things sometimes. I’m sure you’ve seen the movie Shawshank Redemption. There was a line that Morgan Freeman said in his narration that really had an impact on me. He was talking about Tim Robbins’ character ~ Andy Dufresne,
“…He had a quiet way about him, a walk and a talk that just wasn’t normal around here. He strolled, like a man in a park without a care or a worry in the world. Like he had on an invisible coat that would shield him from this place.”
I have been sort of like Andy Dufresne for as long as I can remember. Perhaps I’m hardwired to be that way, or perhaps it comes from my personal beliefs. I don’t know, but it wasn’t until I heard those words in the movie when I realized this truth about myself. I have taken it to heart and embraced it ever since.
I don’t know why I said all of that. Hopefully you’ll find something in it to be of some use to you.
Everyday life takes its toll on me, not just the race, the race actually puts things in perspective as it kicks your ass. It makes you see things in a new light, hard to put that new light into focus sometimes. We all walk through life in our own way, blessing or curse, just got to make the best of it all. Take care