Today I needed a bike ride…..
I woke up at 4:AM, head full of thoughts, there was no more sleep, only tossing and turning. I got the dogs out for a walk. It was such a pretty morning. Leaves changing, still a touch cool as we left the truck, then getting wonderfully warm. Perfect out, except my head was stuck pondering things, so many things. The dogs didn’t help me out. One was just ceaselessly loud and obnoxious. The other constantly wandered off with out heeding my calls to stay in sight. I should be able to rise above and still take in the fading wonder of Fall in the Mountains, but I got frustrated instead.
I got home and tried to download the few pictures I took while out walking. Only I forgot that my damn POS Walmart camera lens cover no longer opens all the way leaving dark zig zags on the edges of most of the pictures. Then my laptop was too full and over worked to actually open all the pictures. Augh! I have nothing nice! I go to make some lunch only to realize there is almost no food in the house. I don’t need to go shopping I need a bike ride!
By now I am tired and grumpy. Still I make myself pedal out to Hartman’s. I stop atop Ridgeline, sit on a rock above the big cliff and stare at the sky, I close my eyes, I take in deep deep breaths. The wind whips past, I can feel myself falling asleep. I sit up, stare out over town, across the big spirals of cut hay in the meadows of the winding twisting Tomichi Creek. I try not to think, but I don’t go blank, I just don’t. So I get up and ride some more.
I stop again. The brain is stuck, this world just doesn’t make sense to me sometimes, really, all too often. I sit on another rock, looking this time to the west. The mesa’s rise above their long sweeping slopes, whole hillsides hide in the shadows. The sun glows with wonderful golden light, swaths of trees turn magical colors in the distance. It is quiet and peaceful, there is no one around to pass me on the trail. I sit, drink my bottle, try to take it all in. My head is still thumping, bumping along a rough road, I simply am not able to absorb the peace around me.
I ride some more and make my way home. I feel better, my heart, my lungs and legs are refreshed and made happy. My skin feels alive, the warm sun absorbed and adored. My head, on the other hand is still a mess. With so many nagging questions, I often wish for a few simple answers. There is not, not today. The perspective gained while out there riding is I still have time in this life. There could be easy answers if I could be satisfied with them, I am not looking for easy, simple, I want more. I may not ever stop asking questions, there is just too much to learn. Keep the faith, brother Jefe, and keep the reaching for more.