Finished the VT125 just yesterday, concluding 1325 or so miles of racing this season. It was a good run, did some lap races that I haven’t sought out in over 7 years, won the CTR, PR’ed in the VT125. Pretty darn happy, stoked really on making it all happen, somehow barely keeping it all together. Bike racing is a lot of fun, sometimes, but it is also draining, tough on the mind and body. As anyone whose done a few long hard races knows that there is a lot that goes on in your head during these events. I know a few of us, if not all, who often wonder about doing something else, quitting, not racing anymore, going for a vacation on the beach. Wondering why it is so damned important to put ourselves through these trying, grueling, punishing experiences. This wondering hits me in every race, but not this past weekend, it hurt like hell, but I was happy. Perhaps it was because I knew it was the last race I had planned for season, the run was done.
Now I am not so sure. I haven’t signed up for another race…yet and still need a few weeks to not think, obsess about another event. It feels like a relief and yet kind of strange to Not Be Obsessed with something. I mean I am thinking about next year, what demons to chase, what races to make a priority. For one thing I learned from this season is that I can go fast, but I need to make that race a focus, not a side thought. I also need to train, really train and smart. It is so hard to balance races against one another, against holding a job, making enough money to eat and pay rent. I just don’t know what direction to go yet, hard to not want another season of racing my brains out! Right now it feels good to be satisfied, looking forward to just riding with some friends, enjoying the coming of fall, spending some more time with my dogs. But always with an eye on the horizon for what challenge is next…..