Colorado Trail Race, dream and obsession

Holy Shit, the 2013 CTR is only a week away. I mean it isn’t like I didn’t know it was coming up, or that I didn’t know the date. None the less it is here and I have to wonder if I am ready for the long hard haul from Durango to Denver? I am a bundle of excitement, wonder, stress and anxiety. Excited about the challenge of riding my bike 500+ miles as fast as I can, wondering about the reverse route this year, how will it be better, worse, easier, harder? Stressed and anxious about going into the race under trained, completely broke, with a bike that is popping like a popcorn popper on every ride. Will I be able to throw down, will I blow up, can I live up to my own expectations? OMG! I just don’t know and I can’t stop asking myself what if’s.

I keep trying to remind myself that it is just a big long bike ride through some of the coolest parts of Colorado. It doesn’t matter what happens so long as I have fun and try pretty hard. But that ain’t so easy a thing for me to do. I am wired kinda tight, I feel a connection to this event and want to give it everything I have. Thing is I see limits being broken, surpassed and I want to try to do that myself. It starts here! 

Well tonight I went out for a quick ride with 90% of my CTR kit on the bike. Needed to do a bit of shake down on some new bags, check my lights, ride with some weight on the bike. But mostly I wanted to go for a ride. My last task at work today kicked my ass and I needed some pedaling to right my head. It worked, was only a bit over an hour, but felt great. The night was warm, the sky flashed with distant lightening, the bike felt smooth and not that heavy? I got to ride Tech Becks, one of my favorites. Tell ya a whole lot of that anxiety and stress has slipped on off my shoulders during that little ride. Not that everything is now ok, or that I felt so strong and amazing, or a chunk of cash fell into my hands. It is all about perspective and the ride changed that for me tonight. This has gotten me thinking that the CTR really is just one big long bike ride…..      Image

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