It’s July 22nd and I’m tired.

Summer is cranking away and it’s busy up in the mountains. This is the time of year we got to make hay and somehow check things off the bucket list too. It’s exhausting.

There’s also this little thing called the CTR that I find myself carrying around everywhere I go for June and July. I still love it doing it, but holy hell it’s a lot of work. So many emails every night, scouting missions with lots of driving and being away from my family takes its toll.

Oh yeah I am racing the CTR too. With about 10 days to go I’m getting those doubt filled thoughts questioning the wisdom of my choices. After last years race I was motivated to be ready for speed this year. One more sub five day ride! Truth is I don’t have the miles or focus to pull that off.

Acceptance is hard sometimes. It’s not easy feeling your body fall off the fitness horse knowing how hard it is to get back on. It would be really easy for me to take that message and let the CTR go for the year. I am starting to get used to the fact that I’m not that fast anymore, but I can do it. That’s the key, I can do it and I still want to and I’m learning to accept that.

I’ve woken up all week tired and a little beat down. (I do pound rocks for a living) I still have a good bit to do to get ready for August 2nd and it’s tempting to let it go, life is so full already. Last year I did a hike I hadn’t done in 30 years and it hit me: I prob don’t have another 30 years to do this stuff. Clock is ticking and I want as many of these experiences as possible. I may not be fast, but I will be out there and that’s winning. I’m tired too, but not giving up.